Exciting news!

To the few of you who care,
 
I have launched a Confessions of a Degreed Waitress Tumblr account.
 
Y'all should totally check it out.... or better yet, follow me!



Here's my first post:



When people find out I've been waiting tables with a college degree for two years

 


[ degreed waitress ]

No, honey, that's not what I mean.

That awkward moment when you tell your GM that you haven't applied to that corporate job you were interested in just quite yet,

because you should be hearing back any day now from the graduate school program you applied to,

and it would require moving 300 miles away in less than two months,

...and she somehow still believes you'll be coming back to work for her after you're done with school.




[ photo credit ]
 


[ degreed waitress ]





To-Go Tips Galore! -- Tip #5

Again with the [ not so ] common sense.

To-Go Tips Galore! Tip #5: Pick up the menu. Before you pick up the phone.

Oh, and read it, too.

I've given this example before, but asking me for a side of macaroni and cheese when that side is listed absolutely nowhere on our menu is just plain stupid.

[ There is a rare exception to this statement: If you know -- and you know for absolute certain -- that there is a "secret menu item" -- an item regularly served yet not listed on the menu -- then you may, of course, order this item. ]

Telling me you want "that baked fish plate" is not only as far from helpful as you could possibly be, it is also a guaranteed way to make me hate you. I do not want to play "20 Questions" over the phone, but I swear people MUST think that I do because I have this exact conversation almost word-for-word at least three times a week:

Me -- How may I help you?
Caller -- I wanna get that baked fish plate.
Me -- We actually don't bake our fish. We have grilled and fried, though.
Caller -- Grilled, then.
Me -- Okay, well we have salmon, catfish, tilapia, and shrimp. Which would you like?
Caller -- I don't 'member which one it was, but it was grilled and on, like, a bed of rice.
Me -- Well, we actually serve each of them that way, but--
Caller -- Oh, hmm, well I guess, hmm, yeah, you can get me the grilled catfish.
Me -- Would you like the lunch or dinner portion?
Caller -- Dinner.
Me -- And would you like that with lemon pepper seasoning or blackened with Cajun spices? [ awkward silence of decision making ] Or perhaps one fillet of each?
Caller -- Blackened.
Me -- Okay, and what will your sides be?
Caller -- How many ya'get?
Me -- Two.
Caller -- Umm, I guess, hmm, I guess you can get me some fries. And what other sides y'all got?
Me -- [ lists over 15 side dish options ]
Caller -- I guess, get me some macaroni and cheese.



I die a little inside with each occurrence of this conversation.

[ photo credit ]

99% of the time, I am far too busy to spend two full minutes going back and forth on one entrée. Just do me a favor, pretty please? [ It's super easy, I promise ]

READ. THE. MENU.

Guess what?! It's even online!

That way, you can tell me very succinctly that you'd like the "Dinner portion of the Blackened Catfish with sides of x and y."

And guess what?! Now I don't hate you!

See how much easier that was?!?


[ degreed waitress ]